Hi, my name is Makensi and I’m an “I’m sorry” over user (maybe there are meetings for this?). Is the word “sorry” overused? In my everyday life, ABSOLUTELY! Sorry; the feeling of distress, especially through sympathy with someone else’s misfortune. Misfortune is a strong word to describe how someone feels when their drink is spilled, eh ? I am such an empath, so I feel for others. And most of the time I am genuinely sorry, but I don’t need to apologize for every little thing. It’s an automatic response for me.
Let’s say my kids are sick and we can’t make it to an event... I say, “I’m sorry”. When I bump into someone on accident at the store...I say, “I’m sorry”. When someone’s loved one passes away... I say, “I’m sorry”. Those are three completely different situations that can’t possibly carry the same weight nor do they deserve the same response. Although I am sorry for these things, there has to be something else that can be said or done, right? Maybe saying “I hate to miss the party, I hope it’s wonderful”. Or saying “Oh I didn’t see you there, are you okay”? And extend help along with sorrow to someone who has lost a loved one... “I am so sorry. This is a hard time and I’m here to listen, and I’m happy to help with your kids if if you need me to”. There are so many options other than just “I’m sorry”. If you do this, then when you do say the words “I’m sorry” it feels sincere and more than just a reaction.
Not always responding with “I’m sorry” is a hard one for me. It’s all about retraining your brain not to say “I’m sorry” 190 times a day (maybe that’s a bit dramatic, but you get the point). Is it important to show sympathy in some situations? Yes, of course! But I feel like for me, my “I’m sorry”, is loosing its depth and true meaning because I over use it. I’m so afraid of someone being upset with me that I apologize even when it’s unnecessary. I’m not “sorry” for every single thing. If it’s an accident, yes extend an apology along with offering to fix it. But if I’m intentional in things that I do or choose not to do, I don’t need to apologize, nor do I have to explain.
I’m also really bad about making my kids prematurely apologize. I force them to say “sorry” to one another before I actually teach them what to be sorry for. When I think about it, that seems a bit out of order. It’s taken me all these years of being a parent to figure this out. If I make my kids say “sorry” if they aren’t, then the word becomes just another word, like it has for me on some occasions, if that makes sense? I have to start with myself. It’s crazy because now that I’ve figured this out, I have started catching myself and trying to replace the word with action, truth, or intentions. And I can honestly say it feels better. It feels more sincere. So, saying “I’m sorry” over and over all day, it’s a no from me.
