Do you ever go upstairs to grab your shoes but see the pile of broken hangers you meant to throw away, so you grab those instead? You go to toss the hangers and notice the trash is overflowing. You go to take the trash bag out and decide to collect all the trash. Shit, the Recylce is overflowing too...you need to take that out. Then walk into the kitchen and see that the floors are covered in crumbs, time to sweep them. Well shit, can’t sweep the floors until you wipe down the counters so all the crumbs have a place to go (no one should sweep before wiping down the counters LOL). While wiping down the counters you see the freaking envelope you never sent off to pay the insurance. So, you grab a stamp, slap it on and head to the mailbox. DAMN IT, WHERE ARE THOSE SHOES?
Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder is a serious condition including attention difficulty, hyperactivity, and impulsiveness. I’m in no way downplaying, and it shouldn’t be taken lightly. Some people have it way worse than I do of course. I have lived my entire life thinking that way of thinking was “normal”. According to my therapist, it’s common but not “normal”. I was 33 years old before I was properly diagnosed with ADHD. And man, it all makes sense now! I’m not “dingy” or “forgetful”, my brain just can’t focus well. It’s not wired to stay on track. I recently saw a Reel of a lady saying “my brain is like an internet browser, I’ve got 43 tabs open and I don’t know where the music is coming from”... HOLY SHIT THAT’S ME! I have to make light of it in my life so I don’t get more frustrated. Some days are harder than others.
So, wanna know something that makes ADHD more exhausting? How about you add OCD in to the mix? Yup, it’s a whole shit show. I want/need things to be a certain way, but I don’t have the focus or attention span to get it that way. Queue the anxiety. It’s just as frustrating as it sounds. Disorder makes me anxious, yet I can’t create order because I easily get distracted. Never ending cycle.
My husband is very Type A, and has the ability to laser focus. Funny right? What a sick joke it was for us to be paired together! Imagine trying to find an exit to a ride, but the Merry go round never stops. That’s how he would describe having an argument with me, around and around in circles I go (sorry babe)! I had a friend recently say “if I had to have a theme song for my brain it would be the circus song”. Me too, sister, me too. Somehow, Dustin manages to navigate through our never ending circus rides and still loves me (most of the time).
Unfortunately for me I can’t take the stimulants that are generally proscribed for ADHD because I have a bit of a higher heart rate (and always have). So between therapy and alternative medications, my brain is a little less chaotic. I’m still a mess, but a medicated mess (hahahaha). I’m a advocate for utilizing all mental health wellness avenues. There is nothing “wrong” with me (don’t ask my husband, he might disagree). I’m just wired differently. It’s hard as a mom to get all the things done that “need” to be done. And if you are anything like me, it’s extra hard. I have to slow down and pump my breaks, otherwise I spiral. If you or someone you know has ADHD or OCD, remember it’s not a choice (believe me), and give them grace. It can be very frustrating and disruptive, patience it key. I promise I didn’t mean to wash the same load of clothes four times, I went in the laundry room to do it but then saw the shoes I was looking for (LOL). So, getting things done without distractions, it’s a no from me, but I’ll get there.